Hi lovely,
How are you?
It’s been a busy few months here at Coach Vesna headquarters. It’s hard to believe that it’s already December. Most days I feel like I’m trying to catch my breath. Lately I’ve been thinking about how we’re forced into believing that the holiday season is a time of endless bounty which inevitably makes me question whether I’m doing enough.
As a way to tune out the noise, I like to ask myself, what advice does your wisest, kindest and most compassionate self want to give you about managing the holidays? I believe that planning for the holidays means planning for your wellbeing. I’m a big proponent of anticipating how you’re going to respond to life’s challenges in moments when you are feeling whole, capable and resourced rather than when your nervous system is in overdrive.
I want to share with you some of the practices that have kept me grounded in the swirl of life in this pandemic liminal space. As always, what works for me may not work for you, so look for the things that brighten your spirit and keep doing them. I firmly believe that it’s the daily rituals and promises that we keep to ourselves that are the building blocks to creating the life that we want.
Writing: I do a short version of Julia Cameron’s morning pages as soon as I wake up and I answer the following three questions in my journal: I will let go of, I am grateful for, I will focus on.
Joyful movement: I try to move my body every day. Lately I’ve been loving Grow with Jo and her fun online workouts. I discovered Qi Gong during the pandemic and it’s been such a grounding practice for me.
Nervous system work: I’ve been following the work of Andrew Huberman who turned me on to the benefits of Non-Sleep Deep Rest. Ally Boothroyd has a such a calm voice and her yoga nidra videos have been deeply nourishing.
Completing the stress cycle: Burnout is a forever topic of conversation with my clients. I often refer to these 6 strategies that I learned from Emily and Amelia Nagoski that are so useful when needing to move the stress that is lingering in my body.
Boundaries: Speaking of forever topics, this one is a biggie (and so tied to the burnout piece). Nedra Tawwab is my go-to boundary expert.
I will leave you with these thoughts from Lisa Olivera: “For those who are dreading the upcoming holidays, remember that you get to honor your boundaries, honor your needs, honor your desires… even if they differ from those around you. You get to listen to what feels most nourishing for you. You get to say no when you need to and say yes when you want to. You get to set limits on your time and energy. You get to tend to yourself before putting everyone else first. It’s uncomfortable to disappoint others; sometimes, we do need to make compromises. But within all of that is the truth that your own well-being, health, and vitality matters, too, and you are allowed to do what you need to tend to it — to you.”
May you find moments of peace, joy and presence this holiday season, and may your 2023 be filled with an abundance of blessings.
With love,
Vesna
The love list:
Watching: Los Espookys
Reading: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb
Listening: My friend Sean Michaels is a beautiful novelist and music critic. His list of favourite songs of the year always makes me happy.