Dear Vesna,
I want you to know that you’ll be just fine. All the things that you’re worried about right now are not that important so stop forcing things to happen in that weird unrealistic timeframe you’ve created for yourself.
You are in exactly the right place. That place might be overwhelming and apocalyptic at times and yet…fuck me if there isn’t something sacred and beautiful about all of it.
Make decisions that are rooted in your truth and less invested in what others think. Try not to only solve things with your thoughts. Wholeness comes from the wisdom of your body and spirit. Happiness means being able to let go of things that are no longer serving you. As adrienne maree brown said “when I can’t change something, I let it go. I give it to earth – that which is larger than myself. If it doesn’t serve the miracle of life, let it go.” When you feel uprooted it’s because you’re not paying attention to the gift of the present moment.
Remember your sources of refuge. You find refuge in music and dance and nature and rock shows and friends who make you feel at home in the world. As a mom and partner, you will nurture a sense of peace and calm, and a space for feelings. You will also be surprised to hear what your kid is going to say about you in therapy.
It will take you time to become courageous enough to be yourself and tell your story, but in doing so you will have a lot less regret.
You will repair yourself over and over again and you will become a better person in the process. It will also become clearer to you that the world will always fall back into place.
Abundance, rest, ease and joy are your birthright and what your ancestors wanted for you all along.
So, stay open to the magic.
-Future Vesna
The love list:
Watching: Heartstopper
Reading: La fille d’elle-même
Listening: Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers